Yesterday my sister and I were talking and she told me a terrible story about a family in her ward that just found out their 5 year old son had leukemia and two days later, he died. The thought of it absolutely broke my heart. One day your child is fine, the next day he is very sick, but curable, the next he is gone. It reminded me of a dream I had a week ago. I dreamed that Ethan died, and it was the most realistic, terrifying dream I have ever had. It was so real that I woke up sobbing in my bed, and I got up and held him while he slept for about an hour. The next day was Easter Saturday and I couldn't shake the feeling the dream had left me with, so consequently, I let him get away with murder all that day long and held him every chance I got. I've found myself ever since, having to re-prioritize my life. I've always tried to be a good mother, but I do worry much too often about things that really don't matter. How clean my house is.....whether or not it's decorated......How much weight I've gained......the list goes on and on and on. Well, today, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by my kids constant demands, and the fact that I have already swept my floor 3 times today and wiped my counters off 4 times. I had food sticking to my shirt from holding Aidan when his mouth was messy and I just had to take a deep breath and remind myself....."I love being a Mom!"
2 comments:
I feel ya! It goes in cycles with me where I get so overwhelmed with the "mommy" things that I forget why I am doing it. I feel so bad for that family.
There is no doubt you love being a mom! You have loved children for longer than just 5 years... you love on every single one you see. Those three boys are so blessed to have you. And I think they know it!
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